I’ve recently read a blog on here that has made me feel so sad, and has also got me thinking about the support that this forum gives to its members. If people ask for help there is always someone there to give it, it’s the people that don’t ask for help that worry me. You have to talk about your problems, the old saying a problem shared is a problem halved is so true. Years ago I worked as a Samaritan, you are trained to listen, and just having someone to listen to you without passing any judgement is better than anything a doctor can give you. If there is anyone out there that is struggling, please pour your heart out onto ‘paper’ so to speak, someone will read it and will be there for you. Just the act of getting those feelings out onto paper can sometimes help you to see things clearer. We all have our problems, sometimes those problems all merge together into this huge mess that you can’t ever see any way out of as they are all jumbled up together and you can’t break them down into smaller manageable amounts of ‘mess’.
I’ve also been thinking about the beginning of our IVA journey and after the initial elation is over, it does seem like your life as it was is over, there is nothing to look forward to and nothing to get excited about. But it is what you make it, it takes determination and it is hard work and you will eventually reap the benefits. Occasionally something springs up to surprise us and it’s those things that we look forward to. You need to get into a routine, humans don’t like change and an IVA is a big change and you have to learn to adapt and live with it otherwise it will get the better of you. We are also fighters, you need to bring out that side!
There is a light at the end, its glimmering for me now and I have hope. Looking back I don’t think I would have done anything differently, we have made sacrifices for our children, but that comes with being a parent and doesn’t always just involve money. Love and friendship is free and I count myself lucky to have that in abundance.
I think I may have waffled on a bit too long now, so I’ll stop but please remember that no-one should suffer in silence, you owe it to yourself to ask for help and be your own advocate.